Not an Idiots Guide, but a Guide made by Idiots


Yes, trees had to die to produce our latest absolutely useless "consumer guide". But I had great fun with it.

This entry is about our latest Consumer Information brochure "A Guide to Directory Enquiry Services" .
(Btw. five of our staff are currently working on our next consumer guide: "How to use a phone book".)
It is a classical example of sensational institutional failure, ComWreckulation at its best.


A. What is the issue?
Our Telephone enquiry services – 11811, 11850 and 11844 – have been changed to be profitable companies.
These companies fleece Aunt Mary with a neat trick.
When they tell her the required number – a service for which they charge something like 50 cent – they ask Aunt Mary with a friendly voice: "Would you like me to connect you to this number?"
Aunt Mary thinks "how nice", says "yes" and without being told about the near-Irish-Psychics-live-like pricing, gets connected to the requested number. Although the number may be in the local call area, Mary will clock up 5 Euro for a 10 minute telephone call.

B. What is the solution?
ComWreck directs the 3 providers of this service to make the user aware of the exact per-minute call pricing at the point of asking whether they want to be connected.

Problem solved. Basic consumer rights upheld. Easy-pc. Straightforward. – But not with us:

C. What is the ComWreck solution?
We allow the 3 providers to fleece their customers, to deny them their basic right to be informed about the price of a service in a meaningful way.
Then we produce a leaflet, which Aunt Mary will neither get, read nor understand. We call it "A Guide to Directory Enquiry Services", it is exquisitely designed and glossily printed and dumped on helpless public libraries and similar places. (You would not want to know the cost of producing this brochure!). The contents of the leaflet are worthless dribble – the only important information, the one about call connection being extremely expensive is only barely mentioned.
If Irish consumers had any self-respect they would roll up our brochures and stick them up the arses of the civil servants who are responsible for this waste of money and the deceit of the customer they are paid for to protect. But fortunately our backsides are safe as the ordinary Irish punter is as dumb and gutless as our bovine journalistic friends.

And for desert:
The Legal disclaimer of our brochure is a gem in itself:



Recource: You can download the original guide as pdf doc here.

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